Change. It is a law of the Universe. Just like gravity or the laws of thermodynamics. Change is a constant that can not be avoided.
If you think about it, we are changing all the time, even without our thinking about it. We allow our bodies to continually change. With every breath we bring in fresh oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide. We are literally changing our blood with every breath we take. We don’t think about it and we certainly don’t try to stop it. We allow it to happen, over and over, every minute of every day.
Everything about our bodies is changing all the time. Taste buds are changing, our gut microbes are changing, our skin, hair & nails are growing and changing.
And yet, what goes on in our minds? More often than not, it’s a lot of the same old, same old. We somehow have convinced ourselves that we are smarter and more all-knowing than the Universe. We use our minds to resist change.
What in the heck?!?!
Why do we do that? We don’t try to resist gravity! We don’t try to tell the leaves on the trees to not change color in autumn and then to not fall from the very branches that gave them life? We don’t stop breathing so that our blood stays the same. We don’t pull our hair and nails out of our bodies just because they keep growing.
Change comes, one way or another. The more we try to resist it, the harder it becomes. Rest assured, it will happen whether you fight tooth and nail, or you simply surrender and allow.
Let’s tangent here for a second and talk about resistance from a physics perspective. Physics, after all, is the mother science! (At least that’s what my dad has always said.)
In physics, specifically in electricity, resistance describes the forces that oppose the flow of the electron current in a conductor. Low resistance allows electricity to flow more easily. High resistance requires more voltage to make the electricity flow.
To use another analogy to help us understand resistance, lets think of a water hose. If you have a bunch of sand in the hose, the sand (resistance) will slow the flow of the water through the hose. You will need greater water pressure to get the same rate of water flow out of the hose than you would if you had less sand (resistance) in it.
We are all energy at our very basic level. Resistance requires energy to oppose the natural flow. Like trying to swim upstream takes more energy than floating downstream. Resistance creates heat and leads to electrical energy being lost.
If you think of the electricity flowing through us like our life force, then you can see how resistance slows down our life force. It is using our energy to go against the natural flow of the Universe. I am inclined to think this is inefficient at best and a waste of energy at worst. Resistance to the natural flow of the Universe (change) means that we are using our energy to create friction and tension in our lives and heat in our bodies. This is what leads to dis-ease in our minds and bodies. We are basically turning our energy against us rather than using it for us.
Embracing change can be one of the most beautiful and transformative processes we can experience, when we open our minds to the idea of everything always changing and allow change to unfold naturally. When we “go with the flow” of the Universe, we find more peace and our energy is used to strengthen that force, rather than oppose it.
Now don’t get me wrong. Allowing change isn’t always easy. It can be messy and often feel far worse before it feels better. And it will feel better. It requires us to step into the unknown with faith, something we aren’t socially programmed to do very well.
Think about it though, when you were just a baby, you changed. And you changed a lot at a very rapid pace! You grew to learn to walk, to talk, and to chew your food. And you probably fell on your face, said goofy things as you were learning to put words together, and you might have even choked on some food. And you didn’t stop until you figured it out! You kept trying new things (stepping into the unknown) with faith (that you were born with) and embraced these new things into your life. No one told you to have faith, you just did.
Aren’t you so glad you did?!? I mean, I’m pretty happy that I’m not still crawling around, subsisting on a liquid diet, with only facial expressions, tears and laughter to communicate my thoughts and feelings.
And what is so interesting to me is how eager babies are to learn and change and grow. Then somewhere along the way, we decide that we’ve got it all figured out and we know more than most, and we don’t need that “growth stuff” anymore. What?!? That just makes no sense to me. Could you imagine if a baby acted like that?
What is so spectacular about the human mind is how it is so adaptable and changeable. This is excellent news because it means that we can get back to that childlike eagerness to grow and learn new things. We can remember how transformative it was to embrace change and the many blessings it brought into our lives. We were born with this innate ability to allow change and we can choose to reconnect with that. It is a choice! It is YOUR choice!
How do you choose to allow and embrace change? I mean you’ve probably created a pretty solidified habit by now to resist change, if you’re anything like me or most adults.
Here are some things that help me open my mind to, allow, and embrace change:
Whatever form speaks to you. I highly recommend trying many forms multiple times to find what works best for you at this stage of your life. I’ve recently discovered kundalini meditation to be having a profound impact on my whole being. The benefits of meditation for helping to embrace change is that it increases your awareness, helps you become less reactive, and helps you learn to choose your thoughts more intentionally. These help immensely with the next tool.
Notice when things feel hard or challenging. Then stop and ask yourself, “What am I resisting?” It’s not always easy to recognize when we are saying ‘no’ to change (or when we are supposed to say ‘yes’), but it is usually pretty easy to identify when we feel frustrated or anxious or angry, which are usually a result of actively resisting something in our lives. By choosing to see what we are resisting and then choosing to stop resisting, we will automatically allow change to occur naturally, the Universe makes sure of it. The Universe will keep the change coming, we just have to get out of the way!
The stoics, like Marcus Aurelius, knew about the immense power of journaling and self-reflection. Putting pen to paper is a wonderful way to access parts of the brain that we don’t access when we are simply thinking about things. By incorporating journaling as a self-reflection practice, you begin to “see” your patterns because they are now outside of your mind and staring back at you from the paper.
Journaling is an excellent tool to use to begin observing where you are resistant and where you are more open. It will help you honestly assess how open you are to change and increase your awareness (see above) so that you can begin to embrace change more easily.
Enlist a Trusted Friend:
One of the most challenging things to do in this world is to look at ourselves objectively. We are naturally biased towards ourselves and towards defending our own thoughts. The challenge with this is that we often don’t see what is so glaringly obvious to those around us. Find someone you trust who knows you fairly well, this can also be a therapist or life coach or someone in a “mentor” or “guide” role.
It is important that you can fully trust this person and receive their feedback with humility. You might not like what you hear. Share with them that you are looking to be more open to change and ask them to share with you where they see you being resistant. You can also ask about patterns they observe in you, as these are often clues to where we are resisting change, keeping us in a cyclical cycle that we keep repeating, until we finally embrace a change.
Actively Pursue Change:
Find little things (or big ones) that you can change that feel more like climbing an ant hill than climbing a mountain in this moment. Change the way you drive to work, or the route that you walk, run or bike. Change your hair style or the hand that you brush your teeth with. Change your furniture around or the way you fold your towels.
The point is that by changing something easy or something that seems to have little consequence, you begin to program your mind to be less averse to change. You reconnect to that knowing that you had as a baby that change isn’t so bad and you may even discover you like something more than the way it was before! The more that you can lessen your general aversion to change, you increase your brain’s adaptability muscle and make it more open to embracing larger or more overwhelming changes.
Now, drumroll please……..
As part of my own allowing and accepting change in my life… this website is changing! Granted, it took me over a year to get to this point. What a perfect example that we all need grace and patience to fully embrace and integrate this concept into our lives.
I am in the process of transitioning marcellephene.com to a fully integrated and holistic reflection of my whole life. I’m not entirely sure how it will look or what direction it will take, I think I’ll let the Universe guide me. For now, I’m just very excited to begin sharing content with you that reflects all aspects of who I am, what I’m learning, and the tools that are helping me to build my most joyful life!
I hope you can be patient with me as the website evolves and changes are made. Hopefully it won’t result in too many website downtime errors. Eek!
As always, feel free to reach out to me either in the comments or via email at email@example.com. Each one of us has a journey worth sharing and I’m humbled and grateful to be sharing mine with you. Thank you for being here!
Please let me know if you have any questions or comments, I love hearing from you! Spread the Love and share this post with someone!
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Disclaimer: The information in this post is not intended as medical advice, or to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional. Marcelle encourages you to make your own health care decisions based upon your research, and in partnership with your doctor, licensed dietitian, or nutritionist. The information provided in this post and the entire contents of www.marcellephene.com are based upon the opinions of Marcelle Phene and are for general educational purposes, and have not been reviewed nor approved by the FDA. You are solely responsible for your health care and activity choices.